Virtual “Playdates”

Are your kiddos missing their play dates with friends? While some have a sibling group, a cousins group, or a pod that they’ve quarantined with, other kiddos are looking for some interaction with classmates and friends with whom they would, in normal circumstances, be plotting play dates :) 

While you may not be ready for the real thing, the kiddos are yearning for connections! 

Virtual “meetings” can be a fun solution, if there is proper planning upfront. What came natural in “before times” may need an assist from a grown-up to get started and be successful :) But then - step aside :) 

Here are some tips for virtual success: 

Think about an ice breaker type activity to get the conversation started - maybe some silly questions or a short game they can manage themselves. 

Some suggestions: 

• Show your favorite stuffed animal - take a few questions. 
• Give a virtual tour of your room or play area. 
• Play a type of the Headbanz game - draw a sketch or write down what your partner is and don’t show or tell them. (Maybe they are a turtle, or a chair, or a flower) your partner asks questions ... Am I alive? Am I an animal? Am I a thing? Am I in a house? etc. until they guess what they are :) 

Then .... 

Choose an activity that can be shared/ done parallel, and agree on activity beforehand. Get supplies together on both ends, but be ready for a spontaneous pivot if interests go elsewhere.

The kiddos in our family like to do virtual “hangouts,” where the interaction isn’t constant but it’s like you’re in the same space, so they pop in to ask a question, show something, etc., with no real expectation of a big outcome :) Keep it short or longer, depending on your kiddos :)

Some possibilities for more structured time might be: 

• Book share - have two copies of the same book and either preread and chat about or read together (like in paired reading in school) and talk about it. Graphic stories might be fun or an interactive book where they have to find something in a picture. 
• Legos - for big Lego fans, simply building together, screen beside screen, and showing what they make can be fun and generate conversation. Building on a theme, like vehicles or dinosaurs, could be the way to go, or just freestyling. 
• Project share - a science activity can be shared, screen to screen, also - it could be as simple as showing off some nature finds and examining them closely. Other things might be color mixing, slime making, play dough cooking (with supervision), or water play. 
• Cookie making - if you have time to be involved, mixing, rolling, cutting, etc. may be fun to do as a screen to screen activity. 

Think of things that draw your child in and hold their attention and then apply this to “distance friendship.”

Even something simple, like just having a snack together, will be beneficial to your child and their friend. In school, snack time is typically the time for socializing a bit, so it’s a natural time to sit and talk. Just like grownups, sometimes kiddos need some sort of construct to get started - but then, it may take off into a fun friendship-building activity! 

Have fun!  

Making Friends: Interview Chat

Little ones don't always know how to start making friends ... or conversation. Give them an assist with a brand new microphone for "interviewing" - home made or dollar store bought :) If you're going with home-made, invent your own from recycled materials around your home. We used a cardboard roll, some silver foil, and stickers.

If you're not looking to DIY, check around at the dollar stores to find one that is durable - I have a toy microphone that is all plastic, non-electronic, and echoes your voice, mimicking a real microphone for a fraction of the cost.

Now, help your child come up with some practice questions, such as "What's your favorite toy? What movies do you like? Do you have a favorite animal or pet?" Ask your child what they would like to know about a friend and practice setting up questions.

Model this behavior with your child by playing an "interview" game to help them know how it works, to prepare for when they are ready to try it themselves. Then, next time you are in a social situation with some other little ones, set them free to make new friends and find out all about them.

Have fun!

Sharing and Caring

Extend Valentine's Day by talking about friendship, with explicit lessons about making and keeping friends, taught with storybooks. Sometimes our little friends need things spelled out for them ... and what better way than through a story?

Rainbow Fish, by Marcus Pfister, tells the story of a little fish who is beautiful to look at and sought after to play with, but when he snubs the other fish, they stop trying to be friends and he feels isolated. Through learning to share, the Rainbow Fish eventually makes friends, and plays happily with his new friends. (I always stress to my little ones that sharing friendship and experiences is really the best gift of all. )

Corduroy, by Don Freeman, is told from the viewpoint of a stuffed bear who just wants to belong to someone and have a home. This sweet book can be a stepping stone to great conversations about inclusion and making sure no one feels left out - and how good it feels to feel wanted!!

My kiddos always enjoy The Crayon Box That Talked, by Shane deRolf. It gives voice to all the different crayons, who eventually put aside their griping to see that if they all work together, the results can be amazing - a great lesson for those having trouble sharing and working as a team.

Of course, there are always some great on-their-level Clifford books to go with these friendship lessons. Clifford's Pals and Clifford's Best Friend, by Norman Bridwell, highlight friend relationships with characters that are known and loved!

Take some time to read through these titles and others before reading with your kiddos, so you know what discussion points you might want to steer them towards. Or ... let them do the talking and encourage them to share what they feel like after reading these books - and any connections they might have to the characters in the stories. Sit back and listen while you color a picture together of one of the characters - great coloring sheets and extension projects are available on the author's websites.

http://www.marcuspfister.ch

http://www.penguin.com/static/pages/youngreaders/children/features/corduroy.php

http://www.scholastic.com/clifford/books.htm

Or, search Pinterest - great ideas should pop up!


Have fun!

Social Skills: Play!

Have fun in the summer - and, use the time to make sure you are exposing your child to new, playful social situations, to prepare the way for school :)

Make a trip to a park or community pool ... or, just take a walk down the street to meet other children  for your child to spend some unstructured playtime with. Playgroups or play dates are also a good option, as long as there is plenty of free interaction between children. To get started, pull out some water toys or set up sand construction tools ... all you really need is some plastic cups and shells or pebbles. Then, let your child imagine what to do with things they find - and share with a new friend! Playtime is their "lab" for discovering what works and doesn't work when forming friendships and working together on projects.

Getting in some non-screen, active time will help your child develop skills such as decision making, planning, sharing - all skills needed in a group setting, like school. The ability to make choices on their own, and to share toys or play cooperatively, are developed over time, in natural play settings. Little ones develop these skills through trial and error, so let them explore :)

In today's world, there are many choices for children's activities that are technology-based, which do not always involve daily interaction with peers. While these may be a favorite part of your child's day, they can detract from building social skills, if used too often. Interactive play time also helps develop your child's speech and language skills, as well as their dexterity in handling objects and art materials.

The more variety your child is exposed to, both through experiences and with handling different toys and art materials, the more they will continue to grow! Keep it simple - there are so many easy ways to inject a little group fun - sidewalk chalk, bubbles, rock and popsicle stick building projects ...

Have fun!

Apology accepted!

Teachable moments occur in the course of each day ... Sometimes,  the most important, authentic social learning comes from these moments.

Little ones are not born with the ability to know how to apologize. They benefit from you modeling how to do this, so that it becomes natural for them, and then can happen spontaneously in the future. When something happens between friends, siblings, or classmates that calls for an apology, look for your child's ability to stop and say the words or make the gesture. If they aren't able or ready, show them explicitly how to do this :) Just as we model other activities, we can teach accountability, apology, and work on empathy.

Teach your children that apologies are necessary and should be direct and specific. Model this with yourself, as well. When something goes wrong, as it sometimes will, and the teacher (or parent) makes a mistake - possibly attributing blame to the wrong person or misunderstanding a situation - use it as an opportunity to model, as well as to truly apologize.

All of the children who have passed through my classes know "even grown-ups make mistakes." Getting down to eye level, directing my attention to the small person involved, and saying specifically why I am sorry ... "I'm sorry I thought you were talking, when you were actually working so quietly ... can you forgive me? I'll try to look more carefully next time." This shows that child and all observing exactly what an apology should look like and sound like.

I think forgiveness also comes easier to those who know how to apologize. Once your child starts to see the impact of their actions, intentional or not, they also are better able to see their place in the group, and feel the power of forgiveness. A team dynamic in your home or classroom will help your child in many aspects of their lives.

So, have fun - and apologize when necessary!

Name Games

At the beginning of each school year, getting to know your students is always fun ...  now add some digital photos to help them get to know each other!

Even before your younger learners can read names, they can begin to recognize photos and start associating them with the letters of the names connected to them!

Start your new school year off with a quick close-up of each student (get permission from parents!) and use it to label various things in your classroom. A check-in board is a likely first place ... and a helper chart! Attach a photo to placecards before laminating and you'll have your students sorted out in no time! Friends will be excited about identifying each others' names and helping them find their seats :)

Later on, set up a box of letter tiles (available at office/teacher stores or use old Scrabble tiles) and namecards with photos. Children will enjoy figuring out which letters make up each others' names. Use this to launch a center which later can graduate to include basic sight words and vocabulary, also using photos or illustrations - it will be a big hit!

You will find lots of other uses for these photos through the school year - have fun with it!

At the end of the year, take another photo and pair them in a project to show how much growing has taken place!